TITLE: Blinded by Love
WARNINGS: Slash / MM
STORY TYPE: Third Person
LENGTH: One-OffDISCLAIMER: The characters are property of Cannell and company.
Face sat alone on a park bench, bathed in the sunshine, the warm rays of light surrounding him, protecting him, soothing his troubled thoughts. He leant back and felt the warmth on his forehead, then he felt the hands gently caress his shoulders. Face moaned in pleasure, allowing the hands to continue with their firm and gentle task, drawing his tension and apprehension away from him with each movement, each gentle stroke.
Face imagined who was working him in such a passionate and gentle manner, and envisaged a beautiful blonde woman, with a perfect smile looking down at him when he opened his eyes. He sighed and reached upward, feeling the hand on his right shoulder, and closing his fingers around it. There was something strange about this hand, something almost masculine ....
His eyes opened wide. "Murdock!!!" Face said, his voice trembling as he saw, not the blonde woman he had imagined, but Murdock’s goofy smile staring down at him.
Murdock grinned. "Gottya. Thought I was a woman, right?"
Face sighed, and patted the seat beside him on the bench.
"No way, haven’t finished yet." Murdock complained, as he worked Face’s shoulders again, felt Face stiffen at first and then yield to him.
"Why here alone, Face? Why so tense?" Murdock asked, as he knelt down and whispered the words into Face’s ear.
Face jumped, startled when he saw Murdock so close, and drew away. "I felt like some time to myself, should have known it wouldn’t last for long."
Face regretted the words as he said them, registering the hurt in Murdock’s eyes. "Sorry to have bothered you, Faceman". Murdock began to walk away. Face reached out in guilt and grasped Murdock’s hand, and pulled him onto the bench beside him.
"I’m sorry, Murdock. Didn’t mean to sound so ungrateful. That’s the best massage I’ve had in a long time" Face said, eager to make amends for the suffering he had caused his best friend.
Murdock turned to Face and smiled, the hurt washing away from his expression. "You know something, Face?"
"What?" Face asked gently.
"Before you opened your eyes, I wished I was a woman. I wished I could have had your smile, and thanks instead of what I knew would happen." Murdock stopped suddenly, unsure of what he had jut said.
Face looked confused for a moment. "Wished you were a woman? Murdock, what did I do to offend you?"
Murdock looked unsure at his friend. "I wanted you to smile at me, say thanks instead of speaking my name in surprise, and thinking bad thoughts of me."
Face looked shocked. "Bad thoughts? Of you? Never!"
Murdock smiled sadly. "I saw it, if only for an instant".
Face shook his head, stubbornly. "No!! I would never think badly of you, Murdock, never!! I find its an insult for you to say that! You could never make me hate you, in any way, I simply love you too much."
Murdock’s eyes lit up. "You love me?".
Face put his arms around the pilot. "I’m your best friend, Murdock".
Murdock looked at Face for a moment, and Face drew his arm away from the pilot, and smiled. Then Face closed his eyes again, and lay his head onto Murdock’s knee’s. The pilot looked at Face with a sigh, and put his fingers to Face’s temples, making soft, caressing circles, and humming softly. Face sighed with pleasure and relaxed completely. Murdock’s fingers worked his forehead gently, and simply, drawing no suspicion from Face, no alarm or concern. Just tenderness and relaxation.
Murdock fought the urge to bend down, but Face’s lips looked so inviting suddenly. He looked at the pink of the lips, the way when Face sighed his mouth would open slightly, and the teeth would sparkle in the light. Such perfect white teeth.
How would Face react if Murdock did this? He’d probably hit him. But, he said himself he could never hate Murdock, and how could he hit Murdock anyway when Murdock was simply in love? Murdock who had always been there, right behind him - ready to catch him, hold him, love him.
Murdock sighed, and realised that Face was watching him intently. "What’s wrong Face?" he asked, forcing a smile.
"I don’t know, you tell me. You just stopped what you were doing, and starting staring into space."
Murdock sighed again. "Face, would you ever hate me if I did something you didn’t like?"
Face sat up suddenly. He put his arm tenderly around his friend again, and looked into his eyes. "I told you, never. How can I prove that to you?"
Murdock began to tremble, and this worried Face. "I want to give you something, Face. Something special. But I don’t want you to hate me for it."
Face’s eye gleamed when he saw the prized gold watch in Murdock’s pocket. So, Murdock wanted to give him this? "I won’t hate you, Murdock. What do you want to give me?"
Before Face could react in any way, Murdock put his head behind Face’s head and drew him close. His lips sought Face’s, and he kissed deeply, his tongue seeking the mouth he had craved for so long. He kissed patiently, forgetting time and place, just the sweet taste of Face, here with him, and in his arms. He put his other arm around Face and drew closer, so their bodies were pressed tightly against each other.
Then he realised what was wrong. Face wasn’t responding to the kiss or the embrace, and Murdock began to panic, the truth dawned on him and he wondered what to do. He kissed desperatly now, trying to think of an excuse, a joke, anything. But he was blinded by love and fear.
Murdock drew away, closed his eyes, and refused to look at Face. He made an attempt to get up and walk away, but Face’s trembling hand closed on his, forcing him to remain.
"What happened?" Face asked, his voice no more than a whisper. "I mean, what just happened here?"
Murdock felt the tears in his eyes, felt the rejection keenly, as he forced his hand away from Face’s, got up from the bench and walked fast, away from the pain, away from the fear.
He felt Face’s arm on his shoulder, as Face hurried to keep up with him, and felt himself spin as Face turned him around. Murdock lost his footing and fell to the ground, and looked up at Face, helpless.
"I asked you, what happened?" Face said, trembling more with anger, than with fear.
"Face, I’m so sorry, it won’t happen again." Murdock sobbed, his expression breaking, and his emotions exploding. He felt Face’s arms around his shoulders, and leaned into the embrace, feeling the warmth and tenderness, the heat and forgiveness radiating from his friend.
"Its alright, Murdock." Face soothed, his voice breaking with shame. "I’m sorry too. I had no idea. How long have you felt this way, about me?"
Murdock cast his memory back, forcing away the urge to rip his tongue from his mouth with his teeth, and said. "Fifteen years".
Face closed his eyes and cursed himself for not realising the truth. The A-Team’s heart throb, and he had been haunted by Murdock’s love ever since they had met, and he hadn’t realised. And Murdock had been reduced to taking a chance, to giving up everything for one touch, one kiss. He felt ashamed and broken, and he tightened his grip on Murdock, not allowing him to escape back to the VA, not allowing him to run away from what had just happened. He wanted to work this through right now.
"Murdock, put your head on my chest and relax" Face ordered. Murdock complied weakly, too drained to do anything except obey, and sighed heavily.
"Now, tell me this, if you’ve been feeling this about me for so long, why didn’t you tell me or do anything before?" Face asked, gently.
"I was afraid. Nothing more to it. Didn’t know what to do. You had me spellbound." Murdock confided.
Face cursed his good looks, and then looked down at Murdock. He had broken Murdock, this setback would affect him for years. Face wondered what to do, he felt fear now. Surely Hannibal would demand answers, and the fault would surely fall on Face’s shoulders. He was so good looking he had seduced Murdock without realising. What an idiot. He could already taste the blood from the cut in his mouth when Hannibal would hit him.
All the harmless flirting with Murdock over the years suddenly looked trivial and foolish on his part. Those huge brown eyes staring hopelessly lost into his own. His shadow, Murdock behind him through every hard time, how could he not have realised?
Murdock saw the fear and hurt in Face’s eyes, and realised how upset he was. Drawing away from Face he mustered all his strength and did what he had done so many years ago in Nam. He separated himself from his emotions.
"I’m fine Face. What a stupid thing to do. Hope this hasn’t ruined our friendship." Murdock summoned all his strength saying these words, and yet Face was not fooled. Face had decided he wouldn’t allow himself to be fooled like this again.
Leaning forward, Face kissed Murdock on the lips, and drew him into a tight embrace, feeling the passion from Murdock like a fire blazing in the hearth. Confused, Murdock responded a little, not too much, and then drew back. Face had his eyes tightly closed.
"What?" Murdock asked, terrified.
"I’m just experimenting, seeing whether I could like it." Face explained, reliving the kiss in his mind.
Murdock smiled at the effort. "Well?"
Face opened his eyes and smiled at Murdock. "It would take some getting used to. I’m a ladies man, remember? But, I wasn’t nearly as put off as I thought I would be. Your a very good kisser."
Murdock blushed deeply at the compliment. "Shucks. Don’t know what to say."
"I know what you could say. What do you feel?" Face asked, his mind resolute. His whole decision would rest on this answer.
Murdock looked away, and then back at Face. "I love you."
Face nodded, accepting this, and decided he would try the relationship. He hadn’t been with a man for a long time, but one thing he knew for certain.
Murdock was worth the effort.