Title: So True
Author: Hannurdock / Georgina Ann Price
Summary: First time Face / Murdock SLASH fic. I'd like to dedicate this story to Coke, becuase she is starting a new job and is a little worried. I hope this takes your mind off your worries :) Take care, matey - my thoughts are with you.
Murdock watched as Face flicked the channels on the television with mixed feelings. He watched Face's slender fingers touch the remote softly and sighed. Face was the most beautiful man in the world. He didn't understand his own feelings towards the con man, but he knew he found him attractive. Very attractive. The only person in the world he had felt this way about.
"Murdock, that bust is on the news. They got the whole heroine stash, all the bad guys. For once, Hannibal's plan went smoothly" Face said happily. Suddenly realising Murdock was gazing at him, Face became a little worried.
Murdock blinked twice, and came out of his daydream. "Nothing's wrong, Facey. Just a little under the weather. Might get an early night".
"Me too" Face agreed, switching off the television, and walking over to the door. He paused when he realised Murdock's eyes were eagerly following his body across the room, savouring his every movement. "You comin'?".
Murdock sighed "Sure, Face".
As the two men trudged up the stairs, Face decided to probe Murdock. His recent behaviour indicated he was unhappy, and Face hated that. "So, what's going on in that mind of yours, Murdock?".
Murdock started, confused. He caught himself immediately and acted indifferent "Nothin' Facey, nothing. Just some confusing thoughts".
"Want to tell me about them? Maybe we can un-confuse them together" Face said hopefully. He watched Murdock stiffen momentarily and turn away.
"Don't think that'd be such a good idea, somehow" Murdock mumbled.
"What? I missed that" Face said.
"It don't matter. Just me being blue". Murdock insisted, eager to change the subject.
"Blue about what?". Face asked gently.
Murdock wondered what to say. Face was determined to get under his skin tonight, and although he didn't wish to lie to him, he couldn't tell him the truth either. "I have fallen for someone".
Face smiled knowingly. "Ah. Let me guess - brunette, right?".
"No, a blonde. Has the most gorgeous smile" Murdock said wistfully.
"Have you told her?" Face asked softly.
"Told who?" Murdock asked, momentarily confused. He caught his error immediately. "Oh, her .... no not yet ....".
Face was puzzled. Murdock was behaving strangely. His thoughts were drifting. "We are talking about a girl here, aren't we?".
Murdock shook his head, crestfallen. A whimper escaped his lips. "Don't think less of me Facey".
Face shook his head. His mind swam with the revelation that Murdock was gay. How on earth could he explain this one to Hannibal? Murdock had been through so much at the VA, a rejection from the team on the basis of his sexuality would break him.
"I don't think less of you, Murdock. Its your choice. Have you told him?" Face said, his voice dropping to a soothing level, to combat the distress of his friend.
"No, he'll hate me if I tell him" Murdock said worriedly. "Our friendship is so good, I don't want to ruin it. Every time I see him, I fall head over heels".
"Want to tell me about him?" Face asked, thinking a friendly ear was what Murdock needed the most at the moment.
"Sure, if you can take it. Your not a homophob, are you?" Murdock asked.
"Murdock! You know me better than that" Face said hurt.
Murdock sighed. "Okay. This guy is amazing. When he walks into a room he mesmerises me. He completely blows me away, and I have to close my eyes and open them again to make sure I aint dreaming. He has the most powerful ability to pull you to him, he's always fascinated me." Murdock became more animated, more excited - and forgot he was talking to the person he was in love with "In fact, when Face even changes the remote control, I am mesmirised by his fingers, they are so amazingly long and delicate. So perfect".
Face smiled, and blushed at the compliament. "I never really saw them that way, but please continue".
Murdock stopped short, realising the fatal error in releasing the name of his adored. He gulped and turned away from Face, felt the blush in his cheeks.
Murdock felt tears welling up. He tried to move away, but Face put a restraining arm on his shoulder. "Please let me go Facey".
"Don't you think we should talk about this, Murdock?" Face asked gently.
"Don't humour me, I know you won't see me the same" Murdock said gruffly, elbowing Face's hand away and rushing to his bedroom. He sank into his bed, fully clothed, and closed his eyes tightly, trying desperately to sleep.
Face entered Murdock's room moments later, and walked over to the bed. "Murdock? I can't leave you like this. You need your pyjamas on".
"Please go away" Murdock mumbled, fear in his voice apparant.
Face was afraid. He didn't want to hurt Murdock, and thought quickly. "Okay, I'll go away if you get into your pyjamas first. So I know you won't sleep fully dressed".
Murdock turned and looked at Face. "You won't go if I don't do that?".
Face shook his head, and then pulled the sheets off Murdock. Murdock sighed and sat up, his evident humiliation making Face terribly upset. Face took off Murdock's shirt gently. Then he started undoing Murdock's pants. Murdock watched him, eagle-eyed.
"Before you put on your PJ's, I want you to turn over onto your tummy" Face ordered.
Murdock wondered what Face was up to, but complied.
Face moved on top of Murdock. He felt Murdock shift uncomfortably beneath him. "Hey, don't get cold feet now!". He rubbed his hands furiously together until they were warm, and then started to massage Murdock's back firmly.
Murdock groaned as the hands he so loved worked his lower back, and then worked their way upward. He could feel the slender fingers, the gentle movement and it was almost too much to bear. "Please ... stop ... I can't handle this".
Face stopped immediately, confused. "What's wrong? I'm only massaging you? Am I turning you on?".
Murdock's body began to shake, and Face rolled him over. "What's wrong? Why are you crying? Look at me Murdock, don't turn away!".
"I'm in love with you!" Murdock gasped, as he tried to free himself of Face's grasp. Face held on tightly, refusing to let go.
"Good! I'm in love with you too" Face said without thinking. He blinked in amazement. Could it be?
Murdock stopped struggling immediately, and softened in Face's arms. "What was that?".
"I said, I'm in love with you" Face said tenderly, rocking the distraught Captain in his arms.
"Is that true? You scamming me Facey?" Murdock asked, unsure.
"No!" Face sounded hurt, and Murdock immediately regretted his choice of words.
"I didn't mean it to sound like that, Facey. You wouldn't scam me, I know that. I have trouble expressing myself when I feel threatened" Murdock explained softly.
Face let go of Murdock momentarily and looked deeply into his eyes "Threatened?".
"I didn't know how you'd react. Thought I'd be going to sleep with a black eye tonight".
"Murdock! Do you really know me at all?" Face turned away to compose himself.
Murdock turned to Face "Yes. I've known you for fifteen years. You've never been in love since I've known you. You have a different girl on your arm each week, sometimes two. I need to be sure".
"Murdock, I can be with one girl .. or guy. I just need a chance. Usually, they break with me anyway" Face looked terribly hurt, and Murdock felt very guilty.
"Can I hold you, Facey?" Murdock asked softly.
"You do believe me?" Face asked helplessly.
Murdock nodded and settled into a deep embrace. "Hmmm, I'm undressed, but you aren't Facey. Are you going to stay in my bed tonight?".
Face nodded, his eyes glowing, reflecting the artificial lamplight. "No sex, Murdock. I'm not ready for that just yet. I've never been with a man before, and I need to feel ready".
Murdock smiled. "Sure, Facey. Whatever you want. I can wait for eternity as long as I have you by my side".
Face smiled, reassured and removed his clothes. He neatly piled them by the side of Murdock's bed, switched off the lamp and then clambered in beside the pilot, feeling Murdock's body spoon against his own. He had never felt so much security and warmth in his whole life.
As his eyes drifted to sleep, he sighed deeply. "Wish we'd got together sooner".
"So true" Murdock said sadly, before sleep claimed them both.